Fuck

Maybe you are right Tuan. fucker..haha
All this time I'm trying to be so damned optimistic but I never took a glance at the negatives.
Fuck.

I fucking hate this shit.
All this fucking questioning
Why can't shit be so damned straight forward.
Why can't it be out in the open.
Your wondering if I'm pissed.
Well I am, cause I don't know where to go from here.
Minus the big part of the picture i was painting and I was left with a disaster.
I rebuilt that disaster into a forever evolving masterpiece.
I turn around for one second and there's a cute little smudge on my work of art.
But how do I interpret that mishap.
Do I embrace it and work my masterpiece around it?
Do I scrap the whole thing because it has been tainted by another individuals taste of art?

Do you see where I'm getting at?

Maybe that smudge is a cruel reminder that I can't escape who I am.
Maybe I wasn't supposed to notice it because it was a mistake.
Maybe everything that I'm supposed to be happy about is a mistake.

I think it's time to confront these issues but I have to give it some thought and make sure my approach is correct.

I have to give myself time to brace myself for the worst.
Life is going to suck from this point on...
Where did everything go?