The past few weeks have been the most depressing weeks so far in my life.
I laid in bed trying to break down every possible scenario in my head.
I have been so blind sighted with you that I didn't realize what you were trying to say.
I finally understand.
I now understand why our break up was inevitable.
It hurts, I don't want to hold you back any longer.
You belong where your heart wants to be and it's not here.
I want to be selfish and beg you to stay here for the rest of your life with me.
But you never saw eye to eye with me on that.
You told me that you couldn't really focus on us because you had too much going on in your life.
I'm sorry for further complicating things.
I feel like a burden that shouldn't have rested on your shoulders.
I want to make this transition in your life as smooth as possible.
I'll bite my tongue till it bleeds just to hold back.
I'll keep my eyes closed till I can't see anymore just to hold back the tears your supposed to see.
I don't want to hold my breath and hope that things will change.
A part of me wants to hope for the best and that we do eventually be together in the end. But so far that's just wishful thinking.
Erin don't think that you didn't deserve anything I did for you.
You deserved every bit of it.
From the flowers to dinners to even helping you bring out your bottles at work and putting up your chairs.
You deserved every little break in your life you can get.
I guess that when Sunday rolls around it's really time to say our goodbyes, but I don't want to say goodbye or farewell.
I just want to say Goodnight or talk to you later.
Give you a cliche spin before you hop into your truck and drive off into the night.
I won't see you exactly before you leave, to me it'll just feel like another week till I can truly appreciate your company again, but in reality it'll be longer.
I don't want to see you leave my house and know that your driving back onto Highway One east. I don't want that vision. I want to be left with my fairy tale ending so that it'll never be tainted.
If things work out the way they are supposed than I'm not spilling my heart out like this for no reason. You see a lot of good qualities in me that I don't even see.I thank you for pointing them out.
So once again, when you leave on Sunday it'll be the lasting memory in my mind, along with the past couple of months. You made my life in BC well worth it. I thank you for that, I can't see my self being happier than I have been. Thank you.
Accomplish what you have ahead of you in life. You have a good head on your shoulders.And if things don't work out the way I'd hope they would, you'll make another man happy. You have that talent. Your literally one in a billion.
I'll never forget you Erin Melissa Chapin....Never.
So good night and talk to you soon....
"You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind but then I knew it,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your hand.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you."
-Who's going to fill my inbox now?
